November 2011
1 post
Will There Ever Be A Year......
Last evening, as I finished reading my Year Three, Chapter 6, EfM lesson, this week known as, On the Eve of the Councils (a most heavy and tedious chapter on the subject of Christology and the Trinitarian question as it was addressed at the end of the first century; and one that reminded me of why I never took many classes in philosophy during my college years) I glanced around me and took in...
October 2011
1 post
Happy Heavenly Birthday, Baby Girl!
That damnable month is here! October. Every year that passes I think to myself on some childlike level that maybe this time I can stop it. Maybe this year I can thwart October’s attempt to arrive. This year someone who rules the world somewhere will announce that due to extreme and unbearable sadness, October has been cancelled. But given that I have not yet managed to do that, I find I am...
August 2011
1 post
Journey Towards Finding Our Own "Hidden Wholeness"
Lately, I have been enriched and empowered by the reading of several excellent books. Over the course of time, I hope to share some of the most moving and meaningful insights they have offered. I also intend to revamp the look and feel of this site soon to include other resources and information such as a listing of books I feel have made a difference in my life and might likewise be useful to...
July 2011
1 post
Maybe You're Still Here!!!
And yes, that is a bit of a double entendre! I meant you the reader (since it has been so long since I have posted anything new) and you, Ashley!!! But a recent experience was a wake-up call for me and I knew I had to share it….So here goes!!
As I was busy trying to get my thoughts together for a new brochure I was writing for International Cruise Victims, I was directed to a website for...
March 2010
2 posts
It's official!!
The training I went through last weekend was one of the most intense and yet wonderfully moving experiences I have had in the longest time. I am talking about the bereavement facilitator training I mentioned in my last post. That 8 hours a day, two day training means I am now officially certified (no, I didn’t say certifiable:) to facilitate a bereavement group. I’m actually...
I apologize for being gone so long....but
well, there’s really no good excuse!! I am finding that my time is taken up lately with many new and different, and yes, worth while projects, but this blog is certainly one too. And in keeping with that (among other things) I am taking a course this Friday and Saturday which will enable me to be a certified bereavment facilitator. It is a comprehensive training program that will provide...
February 2010
1 post
YouTube search caught me by surprise today
It always amazes me when I read a comment posted on Ashley’s page or after an airing of the 48 Hours Mystery about her death that is uncaring and insensitive. It just makes you wonder what people are thinking when they throw things like that out into cyberspace for all the world to see, including the family of the victim. You would think that after 4 1/2 years maybe I would have built...
January 2010
2 posts
Please keep My Friend Debbie in your thoughts and...
I have this wonderful friend named Debbie. She lives in NY. Staten Island to be exact. She and I and many who may be reading this have something in common, we have lost a child. Debbie lost her teenage son about a year before I lost Ashley. His name was Joey and he died as a result of his injuries during a car accident. That common loss was the thing that brought us together. Debbie thrives...
Here we are on the other side of the holidays.
How do you think you fared? If you were anything at all like me, you probably had at least one or two moments or melt downs. I had several and they all occurred after the festivities were done. First, and apparently meant to set the stage for further dramatic developments, I had a vivid and disturbing dream. I dreamed that my entire family was on holiday somewhere resort like. My father...
December 2009
5 posts
Since I figure no one is reading this...
Maybe I’ll just mention in print that I’m having a bad day. I know they are bound to happen especially at this time of year, but they do manage to somehow just sneak up on you, even after more than 4 years or 30 or more!!! At times like this, I guess the little girl comes out in me and I am jealous of all the happy people with whole families. I want my daughter back, I want my Mom...
And she was there too.....
Several of you have probably read my Facebook page or received my braggy email reminding everyone that my 3 year old grandson Ash was appearing on this past weeks episode of CSI NY. I knew it would be just a brief appearance and I was hoping that he wouldn’t end up on the cutting room floor but still I was proud and wanted everbody to watch if they could. Well, he made it in the scene...
I'm feeling guilty right now......
This weekend my family grew!!! I am now the proud momma of an 8 week old English bulldog puppy, named Edith Ann. I will try to attach a picture so that maybe after you see her you can better understand what has happened. I have been stalking this puppy for about 2 weeks now and preparing to adopt her. We have all been really excited about it, so excited in fact that I forgot to schedule what...
A word about faith............
Well, I just couldn’t go on any longer without mentioning the word faith. I hope I’m not offending anyone in doing so but I have found mine to be a tremendous source of strength over the long, dark days of loss and lonliness. I’m not saying there hasn’t been anger or even what I would call a crisis of faith along the way, there has, but all in all, I realize that is what...
Okay, now we got through that holiday......
And I have a very unconventional idea to suggest here in a moment. I hope everyone made it through Thanksgiving reasonably intact. I know it is so hard to keep from thinking back, to keep the memories at bay and blink back the tears….to put a smile on your face when it’s the very last thing you feel like doing in the world, but somehow we do it. So pat yourself on the back, shake it...
November 2009
6 posts
I was in such a good mood until.....
I arose early this morning and went about my usual chores; let the dog out, fed the dog, picked out my clothes, etc, etc, when I suddenly realized that I was in a pretty good mood, especially for 6:00AM. Even more surprising, it continued on. As I was driving to work, still savoring the sensation, I listened to my favorite morning radio show, “Mark and Brian” where they were having a...
And so the Holidays Begin.........
Let’s not kid ourselves, the holidays are tough for most all of us, especially for those who are still grieving. The stir of memories echo in our heads with times when we were whole and happy. And they seem to remind us that we are not ever really free to fully embrace joyful moments the way we once were and definitely not during the holidays. They are just damned hard, folks!! I know...
This is a lovely, tender and sweet theme that was...
“Thought for the Day
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every...”
– Eleanor Roosevelt
Having been in therapy now for almost four years, ever since my daughter died, it was suggested that I might start to write a blog. Apparently, it comes as a surprise to my therapist that parents who have lost a child, don’t necessarily feel like talking to or taking advice from anyone who hasn’t walked a mile in their shoes, so to speak. Makes perfect sense to me!! I know I sure felt that way,...
